Bence Tordai, the itchy haemorrhoid of Hungarian politics

No matter what time of day it is, no matter what day of the week, Tordai is here to act the goat, as useful to anyone as a set of chafing piles

If Hungarian politics were a human body, Bence Tordai would most certainly be the vexing, itchy bum grapes that simply refuse to subside, flaring up on a regular basis, causing annoying sessions of paraesthesia. In the dwarfish micro-party of which he is a member, some of his fellow party members, too, are almost as irritating as he is...there seems to be an ongoing good-natured battle between the top runners of PM (Dialogue for Hungary), to see who can be the biggest twat on a weekly basis.


Anyone who names a political party ‘Dialogue for Hungary’ is clearly a po-faced git who deserves the maximum lack of respect available at any given time. But enough of that, back to the subject of the day – the hirsute haemorrhoid that is Tordai.

This is a man who claims to be fighting the good fight all the time. According to his own testimony, he never turns off his fight against corruption that he continually wages against Orbán and the rest of his government. Of course, that implied dedication to the good cause did take a bit of a tumble when it was revealed that in the ‘jobs for the boys’ free-for-all that followed the opposition’s success at the 2019 local government elections, one of those who managed to secure a post as expert-advisor to the 2nd district local council was Tordai’s wife. Tordai, he of the bad-breath and unflinching dedication to assaulting anything that is Orbán or connected to Orbán, duly pondered the appointment of his wife and decided that there was nothing fishy about it at all. Apparently, in the midst of a rash of the heads of municipal companies being axed left, right, and centre, Tordai’s wife getting an undisclosed amount of money for proffering ‘expert advice’, is nothing for the media to be concerned about.

Last year, Tordai, a man who has mistaken being a prick for being a useful member of parliament outdid himself in parliament with an attack on Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trade, Péter Szijjártó.

Forrás: MTI/Balogh Zoltán

Having stated that he was happy to see that the minister had beaten the coronavirus that had laid him low, he then retreated to the safety of his own rabbit hole. Tordai declared that he couldn’t not say anything about the fact that the oft’-travelled minister was never seen in a mask during not only the 1st, but also the 2nd wave of the coronavirus. According to the logic that Tordai stumbled across at the bottom of his rabbit hole, our Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trade was solely and exclusively responsible for the infection of half of South East Asia with the coronavirus, and the shutting down of Cambodia.

The mind boggles. ‘Twat’ as a noun barely covers this hairy bum grape.

But, in the latest domestic news connected to the coronavirus, Klára Dobrev, granddaughter of one of the nastiest, bloodiest communist stains to be found in Hungarian history and wife of Fletó Gyurcsány (he of the ‘shoot their eyes out’ policy), has become infected with the coronavirus.

In the wake of the news, people started, not unsurprisingly, to examine what Dobrev had said of her hygienic defences against the coronavirus.

But that’s exactly what she didn’t do.

Forrás: Facebook/Dobrev Klára

Forrás: Facebook/Dobrev Klára

Forrás: Facebook/Dobrev Klára

Forrás: Facebook/Dobrev Klára

(Ed. Note: However, we wish a speedy recovery for Klára Dobrev) Now, given the hirsute haemorrhoid’s performance when he accused a Hungarian government minister of being responsible for spreading death and destruction over South East Asia, we all sat patiently, waiting for Tordai to spread his wings on this subject once again, and make similar accusations regarding the damage done to Hungary, the Hungarians, and the Hungarian economy by Dobrev. It has yet to come.

Forrás: MTI/Kovács Attila
“What? WHAT?! I still can’t hear you!”

Tordai, bearded bum grape that he is, is a member of the band of nincompoops that like to incessantly introduce themselves as the ‘Hungarian opposition’. For the uninitiated, this means that Bence and his swarm of swollen rectal veins have long since decided that their role in life is to jump about within and without parliament, shouting about Orbán’s government and the decisions they make. They don’t actually do anything. Other than shout, obviously. That’s their basic genetic structure. Destructive, rather than constructive opposition, if you will.

This means that, using what they see as irrefutable logic, we can expect to hear exactly sweet fuck all from Tordai and the rest concerning Dobrev’s attempt to kill half the country.

Forrás: MTI/Illyés Tibor
“What about now, fuckwit?!”

These are, after all, the politicians who have fallen into line behind ‘diseased’ Dobrev and her husband, the man who once revealingly referred to the country of his birth and the country which (astonishingly) voted for him to lead the country, as “this fucking country”. Lovely fellow.

So, watch the news as much as you fancy, scan the airwaves 24 hours a day. The fact remains that an opposition politician, an MEP, lied on television about taking precautions regarding her actions in the midst of a global pandemic. That, in itself should open the sluice gates of condemnation from across the political spectrum, but it won’t.

As far as the opposition are concerned, Hungarians don’t count. If it’s South East Asia, then it’s bound to be the fault of the Hungarian Minister of Foreign Affairs and Trade who has condemned half the world to a slow, lingering death, in addition to ruining their economies. If it happens in Hungary, but as the result of the actions and lies of an opposition politician, then there’s a caveat to be applied. As we see repeatedly in Hungary, the opposition have a quite peculiarly schizophrenic approach to public life. The rule is that whenever they err it is not comparable to when someone other than the opposition errs. If the opposition fuck up, then anyone who criticises is told to ‘get over it’, as it was obviously a joke or a genuine error.

Szijjártó visited South East Asia and was hauled over the coals by Tordai et al. Dobrev has potentially infected half the country, whizzing from pillar to post, coughing and spluttering and sending millions to their beds, from there to potentially meet their maker, and yet if anyone were to criticise, the response would be rolled eyes, at best.

To attack Szijjártó was nothing short of silly, but by refusing to hold Dobrev to the same standards, Tordai, the itchy haemorrhoid of Hungarian politics reveals the problem that lies at the very essence of the opposition. They’re not up for the job of being taken seriously.

By repeatedly showing that they’re never ready to man up and take responsibility, they’ve undone themselves in one fell swoop. They have repeatedly refused to grow up and take responsibility, and as a direct result, they have repeatedly condemned themselves to the play pen.

With the deafening silence from Tordai regarding Dobrev’s stupidity and lies, the opposition hammer it home, once more: they’re still not ready to play with the big boys and girls.